Friday, October 07, 2005

Update, brother!

I apologize to no one in particular. I am officially the worst blogger in the history of bloggers. Oh well!

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Here's the scoop, kiddos. Apparently, retribution (or karma as some little lovelies like to call it) is a very real thing. This guy of which I speak in Section 3 is now dead. Apparently, this particular client died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 43.

I was talking to the daughter of my co-worker about this client and his seemingly premature death. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: "That's kind of scary to think of dropping over dead from a heart attack at 45--I mean, that's pretty young when you think about it."

Her: "Well, I guess that's a good example of why you shouldn't eat fatty foods."

Me: "No, that's an example of why you shouldn't smoke crack."

Her: "Oh yeah, that too."

He was in to pick up his homeless mail the day before he died. As it seems, he just dropped over dead without any possibility of revival. His wife and very pregnant 16-year-old daughter came in the next day to fill out for a county funded burial. They didn't seem very upset, but why would they? The county will pay for him to have a $250 cremation done at a nearby funeral home.

I wonder if he wanted better for himself?

14 comments:

The CDP. said...

Don't smoke crack and don't eat fatty foods. Rules for life, right there.

I always thought that I would have a heartattack at age 21, due to my terrible eating habits. Anything past that has been bonus time, as far as I'm concerned.

When I die, make it modest. Just invite close friends and family to watch them shoot my mummified corpse into orbit.

Hathery said...

If you're mummified I won't HAVE to shoot you into orbit! It's when you start to rot that I'll have to send you skyward...

The CDP. said...

If you wait until I'm rotting to shoot me, then when the fuse goes off, I'll just explode all over the place. We're going for distance, here!

Sherry said...

That is the most depressing story I've ever heard- the part where they will only pay for a cheap cremation. I frightens me to think of the crematorium that I once came literally face to face with during a tour of a funeral home, and then the tour guide opened it to all of the members of tour group's surprise. I, of course, happened to be sitting right in front of the opening. Very, very scary stuff.

The CDP. said...

I knew someone who kept their Mother's ashes sitting on the kitchen table. For reals, yo'.

Hathery, is the title of your post supposed to be said in a "Desmond" voice?

"Update, bruuthaa!"

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Anonymous said...

I go to work to pay for the one that left this world and I go to work to pay for the one that will be born into this world. Something is not right.

Hathery said...

Uh oh, who's pregnant?

The CDP. said...

Oh, boy...

Anonymous said...

I was talking about the pregnant 16 year old in your story. Shame on you two!

Hathery said...

Oh, I get it! I'm a little slow on the 'ole comprehension :)

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