Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Oy, melon!

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I have really noisy neighbors at work. They often talk loudly and pointlessly directly outside my cubicle. It has gotten to the point where I placed a sign on the outside of my cubicle asking them to take their conversation elsewhere, with a nice clip-art graphic of business people talking with a big red "X" over the top of it. It worked for a while, but not so much anymore.

Today my "neighbors" were talking loudly in the cubicle right next to mine. What you must understand is that I have brought headphones to work to drown out their banter, but I can STILL here them over my music. Unbelievable. I decided to ditch the headphones today and give their conversation a listen. Yeah, I'm nosy--what's it to you?

Anyway, their topic of discussion was pets. They were discussing the woes of caring for a dog, the sorrows of living in an apartment with pets. One woman was saying that her landlord was complaining about her cats being too noisy. "My neighbor is deaf, so I know that he wasn't the one complaining!" she angrily exclaimed. Another conversational participant asked her, "Well, they're cats. How loud can they be?" The cat-owner quickly responded, "You know how cats get, they get in those moods sometimes where they just chase each other around. They sound like a herd of cantaloupe running up and down the stairs!"

A herd of cantaloupe. Seriously.

My day suddenly seems worthwhile.

19 comments:

The CDP. said...

First off, if they are talking that loud to begin with, they want you to listen. No need to feel nosy when they are being jerks.

Fourthly, did the other person correct the one who said "cantaloupe?" Or did they just continue with the chat as if it never happened. If I would have heard someone say that, I would have made them cease their conversation right then and there.

Man, that's funny. I can just imagine about a dozen or so ripe melons bounding down our steps.

Hathery said...

The girl kind of just laughed and went on with what she was saying. She realized she made a mistake, but was too embarassed to dwell on it.

The CDP. said...

How humiliating for them. Melon-related grammar mishaps are the third leading cause of blowing a job interview.

Hathery said...

I need to stop skimming things and read them more carefully. I just about had to reprimand you for your last comment, Ryan.

aaron said...

It's funny to picture a herd of cantaloupe. Heh. People are dumb.

That reminds me of a word mix-up one of my friends committed a few months ago. I had just seen a raccoon outside of my apartment and for some reason had to text message her and tell her. Our text-message conversation went kind of like this:

Me: Hey I just saw a raccoon outside my apartment.

Her: Sweet! Go grab him. I've always wanted one of those. Besides, who's going to help me eat all of these coconuts.

Me: Coconuts? What?

Her: I mean acorns.

Me: I think you're thinking of squirrels.

So the rest of the night I was picturing my friend and a raccoon feasing on coconuts. I'm pretty sure a raccoon wouldn't be very good at eating a coconut, though. Which is why it was funny picture it.

The CDP. said...

See hun, it pays to read things more closely. Your mind is in the GUTTER! That being said, it is a pretty suggestive sentence.

Aaron, that text conversation is hilarious. It's especially funny because she screwed up twice.

aaron said...

All this talk of grammar, and then I have mistakes in my comment.

corrections:
feasing = feasting
funny picture it = funny TO picture it

I'm no better than the rest. That's what I get for drinking, though.

Hathery said...

Aaron, that text conversation is fricken hilarious! Sounds like something I would say...

Sherry said...

Herd of cantaloupe! That's the funniest thing I've heard in at least a month! Did you start laughing outloud when she said that?

letseatpaste said...

Next time you talk to that woman, just make sure you slip into the conversation that you ate some antelope for breakfast.

The CDP. said...

Ripe antelope. The best kind.

Hathery said...

When I heard it I immediately started typing; I simply could not let it go to waste. I think I may have laughed to myself, though. I have to try not to just start laughing spontaneously around here because the cubicles are so close that your neighbor might think you've lost it if you just start laughing. :)

The CDP. said...

Yo, yo, yo. Check out your hits for this month. Best Month Ever!

Also, check out your referrals, it's kind of nuts. I'd like to think of my page as a gateway to the wonderful world of the Missus.

The first taste is free, but then you start charging once they're hooked.

aaron said...

How do you check that stuff? It might be interesting to see from time to time, but I have no idea where you're going to do it.

The CDP. said...

Aaron, you have to put a hit counter on your page to be able to index that info. You can check all of my stats by clicking my hit counter near the bottom of the sidebar. It's pretty interesting, you can find out all sorts of information.

aaron said...

Coolio. I'll probably look into it.

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