Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The dream.

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This is the sort of thing you should be posting, the husband says. If you don't post it I'm going to have to, he says. Without further ado, here is the dream I had last weekend:

My old band Mediocre at Best was playing a reunion show of sorts. From the looks of it, we were playing in that Youth Center we played at a few times in Plymouth, WI, only the layout was the opposite of the way it is in reality and the stage was on the other side of the room.

The boys were on stage twiddling with the instruments and getting them in tune. Luckily, one of the nice chaps had taken my bass up on stage for me and set it up, as I was in the back of the room desperately trying to find which wig I wanted to wear! First I tried on a big, yellow, foam wig...that was a no go. Then I put on a long, black Elvira wig...that just wasn't working either. Then I realized that the problem was I needed to take off my aviator glasses! Once I did that, I looked just fine.

It was at that point that I noticed the boys were taking their places on stage and were obviously getting ready to play! I ran through the "crowd" and jumped up on the stage. I was just in time to join the others in playing a new song that Aaron wrote and was also singing. It sounded really really good from what I remember; then again, the last time I thought a song sounded great in a dream it was a song by the Ataris, so apparently my slumbering mind does not hold itself to high standards.

So the first song is done, and the crowd likes it. Then Ben decides we're going to play Dead As Disco. (As some of you know, that was the last song we ever wrote together. We has played it at our last show and it was a disaster--we had to stop halfway through the song!) I tried to convince Ben that we didn't know that song and it would be awful if we tried to play it. He reluctantly agrees and then busts into Eight Ball by the Impossibles. Seeing as how we hadn't practiced any cover songs, I did not know the bass part! All the others knew how to play it and were rocking out, so I decided to just play along. Unfortunately, this meant me plucking a few random notes and looking like an idiot onstage. I would have got away with it, but there was a bass solo and I more or less made a total ass of myself by attempting to improvise a solo.

The song was done (phew!) and everyone claps...except one kid. He proceeds to yell out to me, "You're as bad as this guy I saw on TV last night!" Not knowing what he was talking about, I questioned, "Who???" He replied, "Peter Cetera!"

Being that Peter Cetera wrote some of the worst songs in musical history, I went OFF! I proceeded to punch the kid in the face relentlessly. This would have been okay under normal circumstances, but these were not NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES--the kid was in a wheelchair! The others tried to yank me back as I punched the kid in the face and screamed, "What the hell do you know, you fat cripple?" and various other insults that I would never, ever say to anyone under any circumstance, ever!

The dream ended with them still trying to hold back my flailing arms from beating the living crap out of the kid in the wheelchair.

If dreams are just tools for helping the mind make sense of a problem or events during the day (as I believe they are), what the heck was my brain trying to figure out that it came up with THAT?

17 comments:

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aaron said...

I wish we had played shows that ended with you beating the crap out of a crippled kid. I like that some obscure reference makes you flip out on him.

And why do you have to bash my song writing skills in your dream? In reality, maybe I'm not that great, but if it sounded good in your dream, then it WAS good. I'm a fantastic dream song-writer.

Three BLAM's...that's getting excessive.

The CDP. said...

Yeah, that's a lot of BLAM! to get a hold of.

Damn funny dream, though. When you first told me, I spit out my cheese sticks at T.G.I. Friday's, I was laughing so hard.

Hathery said...

I'm sure the song was wonderful! :)

Ben looked pretty angry that you were singing though, I can tell you that much!

The CDP. said...

Ben doesn't like to have anyone steal his thunder. He's an entertainer first, a friend second.

It's funny, because when we were in Rep. Watlet, he became the singer by default when Frank left.

We were like, "Ryan can't sing and play drums, so you're the singer now."

And he was like, "Okay."

aaron said...

I think Ben would have been relieved if I did more singing. Sometimes he had trouble just playing guitar, much less singing at the same time. And then there's the whole "forgetting the lyrics" thing. Ha. Good times.

Remember when he puked before we opened for Mustard Plug? That was funny.

The CDP. said...

Forgetting the lyrics was forgivable, because a lot of people didn't know the words.

It was when he would forget guitar parts and intros that got my goat. If I had a nickel for every time he started "Call To Arms" wrong, I'd be eating nickel soup.

I told the Missus that we should play a reunion show. I know at least 4 people who would be there.

aaron said...

A lot of my friends say we should do one, but I don't really think anyone cares anymore.

For the record, I don't think we should ever do a reunion show. It would definitely be a disaster.

Maybe if Celia beats up a cripple during the show.

The CDP. said...

If we had 2 good days to practice, we would blow the pants off of those kids. Get going, and set something up.

Hathery said...

Whenever we were going to play Call to Arms or Great American Zero been would look at me and go "Is that the one that goes da da da...da da da, or the other one?" I'd tell him, and then he'd still play the wrong one.

Hathery said...

I meant Ben, not "been". Wow, it is way too early for me...

The CDP. said...

You're a bean.

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