Tuesday, June 29, 2004

HTML is hard.

Can anyone tell me why my "Fun" links are so spacey? I don't get it.

My job makes me sad.

I work at a really sad place. My clients are poor, destitute, and often homeless. Some could do better, but choose not to. Some want to do better, but can't. I exist to help them exist. I get paid so they can get paid.

Sometimes I think I have the worst job in the world. It's thankless and I often go unappreciated. I create spreadsheets and systems to maintain smooth operation, but coworkers break them and laugh about how stupid they are for doing it. I spend half my day fixing it. It's a real hoot. Yeah.

People yell at me, people throw things, and people make accusations because they don't know better. They are just raised that way. I'm glad I wasn't raised that way.

My boss blames me for things I didn't do. I do a million things right, but I'm such a failure if I "forget" to do something she never asked me to do. I try to respond, but she interrupts me. I think she hates me because I try hard. Maybe she should try harder.

I am okay because I have caring friends, a caring family, and especially a caring husband. It could be worse...I could be these people. I don't want to pick cotton or clean a sewer. I don't want to clean out the drunk tank. I really don't want to embalm dead people.

Homeless people are okay, I guess. Most of them aren't even homeless. They just say they are so we don't know what they really have. Homeless people don't have cell phones, novelty lighters, expensive clothing, and designer handbags. Our homeless people do. Something is wrong with the way they think.

Some of our homeless people are truly homeless. They smell. They drink. They carry around plastic bags. They loiter in our bathroom until they are forced to leave at closing. They are sad. Often they have just been let out of jail. They will probably go back. They don't know how to do better.

I'm okay because I know how to do better. I can eat fettucinne at lunch if I want, and I can eat mandarin oranges from a cup. I don't wonder where my next meal will come from. I just have to worry if the center will be cooked when I take it from the microwave. I can save my checks, but I probably won't. I will spend them frivolously because that's what I do.

I don't have to go to work, but I always do. I can be sad, but I will go back. I will come home, and I will be tired. But I will go back. I will cry because it makes me sad, but I will go back. I always go back.

You'll probably go back too.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Return of the SPAM BEAST!

Here is another wonderful spam email I received. I absolutely love these ones with the random keywords. If there's one thing that makes me want to visit a website, it's random gibberish that doesn't contain any coherent thoughts....Enjoy!

From: "Curtis Mccray"
To: XXXXXX@yahoo.com
Subject: bouffant disney boise potentiometer smut extraditable jazzy belate boron accident reel breakfast lawrencium solicitor alundum eleventh squamous implementor campbell
Date: Mon, 28 Jun 2004 04:06:44 -0300

Supe up your life.

http://www.fakeaddress.com

forthcome hysterectomy demography cossack extrusive deprecatory ragging
cusp miscible ralph wispy wold sun zeroth .
hinge sagacious identify citywide arcana cathedra clung atkins foldout
backwood lethe .

loosestrife rusty burnt iconoclasm haze boss censure beam anorthic
aching eigenfunction goldfinch lift workstation roy uptrend botswana
catlike .

cockpit meanwhile breccia quartermaster owly antler brockle captain
evince watchmake clomp arrival covert gamesman leighton dredge bushel
henchmen expire catholic grommet u's instalment datum cryogenic surety
argentina buchwald mylar conformation craig chalk resume .
chalcocite tight megalomania shed french hedonist infinitesimal befall
amorous headstand cerebellum exotica fusiform inhabitation devisee
bisexual hamburg christoffel provisional citizen downtrodden
arteriosclerosis dominican dubious uhf tactual comparative strawflower frayed elution
bufflehead cycle concision malfeasant blasphemous squirm .

lute collude pick vail marks spear qualify browse monochromatic break
bowel .

Noooooo mooreeee meeeeeessaaaaaageees heeeeereeeeee

http://www.fakeaddress.com

teamwork averse homogeneous spumoni kitten fusiform kerygma symptomatic
careful neurosis tarnish dobson gaseous fundamental dowling valent
medici .
mossy nymph wardroom been buckthorn bootstrapping dreamt combinator
dexter gnaw dune dreyfuss grail earsplitting convenient asuncion
accomplish await .

predicate jog moloch surveyor morale buoy burrow accrual martyrdom
blacksmith paradise .

sprig immeasurable dodd cavalcade sharon sleight hoyden cloud avenue
frame dryden horn catnip descriptor fidelity mutatis facet sacrilegious
flown watson tristate interim residuum bmw belief duckling corrosive
generosity pensive canberra groundskeep jamboree villa kumquat cassius
ignore dementia bauble ajax ecstatic .
baird periodic boxy airmail keenan undulate drape curiosity bondage
sovereign corruptible dickinson .
minimal bilabial steve snowmobile regretted janos inviolable halve
besotted society cottonmouth joanne dedicate starfish gate chromatin
cochrane .

postcondition constituent comrade phage presto dwindle piraeus critter
hesitant doubtful incipient york bert tame .
cairn zomba lobby conspicuous marshland sawyer connecticut efficient
engage bandstand chandler defect stockbroker berlitz persist boeotia
algol bin disastrous dodo dashboard astatine amputate desegregate frankel
conciliate fermion mccracken hyperboloid csnet dive logan elevate simply
deprecate abelian aggression .
airspace discus aseptic embark lapelled rotunda wistful twinkle
paramagnetic flashback petty ottawa weber austin prudent event fpc d's
obstinate kestrel anathema referendum hobble internescine beechwood
ornamentation anode bounce douglass .

duchess accent frequent proven loot spruce arteriolosclerosis coproduct
ocelot aloud cornelia diplomacy enforcible lilian invention her minnow
dashboard bertrand tame landfill aphasic hobbs dewey chairperson afoul
prospector rook hypocritical cycle swine howdy manage cork daly bony .
concede piccolo gunnery vacuole bernardo blazon weierstrass dapple
shafer convergent barberry emitter diversify aloha castillo medici minot
symposium abash sequential anonymity decorous recession coplanar aaas
pile purdue terminal portraiture ballast thebes .
amass apathy embroidery glaze bessemer uncouth brevity acclaim bryce
arrive guaranteeing stale catatonic glamour inform melcher utopian
ascendant mycology longtime alphanumeric .
discuss cyst ella effusion intermit floodlight contentious
combinatorial aboriginal muddy lamplight mimetic .

fantasy millennium humorous holiday nuzzle homeward quixotic heublein
inferno berkowitz bittersweet anheuser butyric assyriology sycamore
maintain stoke megaton feudatory lacy dumpty factorial stew cacophony
aeneid .
beyond sure blink behest afro exploration earthshaking pasture
despicable refractory will flageolet giveaway psychopath el benevolent
constitutive slob professor jonas cog paymaster volta seville inveigh chiang
asymptote armament donkey contributory meningitis digestible introversion
crimea tid forsaken gigantic audiotape direct .

effeminate increase marshland acrylic skew formulate protean
sarsaparilla distort lutheran asiatic absence rampage peru delicacy hattie
perverse trachea aim wombat micrography astral droop gestalt multiplet
adamant invariable duopoly employ assiduity conservatism appointe augustus .
bassett darling good renovate befogging claw dun forbes garter
backgammon enstatite thetis candid bike homonym elmer welles abominate elisha
resorcinol coplanar scholastic purview schist flew kingsbury .

zebra fearsome sal spec titanate anastigmat blueberry conservative
mauritius cheryl fad whinny padlock saliva chilblain brimstone appliance
acanthus warmhearted compile dolt casual indigo irving tenderloin benzene
hannah .
arcturus easy bedazzle armchair viking brook pandemonium add mutineer
bedford backhand gypsite lope juicy elmer orin penalty mitosis substrate
bimini alumina lounsbury construe stun disciple .

fifth dreamlike irate comatose springy synonymous dispense bose bruce
claus boisterous lain catsup warp gabriel verona claude .


RAAAAH! I am the SPAM BEAST! Blab telephone ruckus sanitize!!!!

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Needless to say...

George Bush must die.

Now.

Go see Fahrenheit 9/11.

Now.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Rate my baby.


Hi, according to this site I'm the ugliest baby on earth!

There are plenty of Rate My (fill in your own noun) sites out there, but I just today encountered a site for Rate My Baby. There are quite a few sites of this nature, so I feel compelled to comment. Now, I can see a Rate My Kitten or Rate My Puppy because after all the animals can't just get on the internet and surf around...if they're the lowest scoring cat or pup, they won't mind. (As a matter of fact, the lowest scoring animal is usually just a person dressed up as an animal anyway.) I know what you're thinking...."Babies can't go on the internet." You're right. Babies CAN'T surf the web by their own volition. However, in a good 5 or 6 years they'll be old enough to start searching for the Rate My Such and Such sites, only to be greeted and stunned by their own picture. Can you imagine how sad that would be for a 10 year old kid to stumble upon his own photo on a Rate My Baby site and see that he was rated as the ugliest baby ever entered? I know that wouldn't probably happen, but it's a sad thing to think about. Mothers need to ask themselves, what GOOD will it do to put this picture up? At least if you present your baby to family and friends in real life, they will lie and say it's just about the cutest little person they've ever seen. Computer users, behind their shield of anonymity, are not so kind. They will be ruthless. They will say that the best-looking babies are ugly just to throw off the votes. They will post nasty things about your children. WHAT GOOD WILL COME OF THIS? If you really need that much reinforcement about your child's looks, just give it a few years...your kid will be 10 times uglier than it was when you started. Almost every child goes through an awkward phase from about 7-12 years old where you will wonder what the hell is wrong with them. Just keep that in mind, and keep telling yourself that babies always looks like wrinkled old men. Oh, and always remember: sure babies are miracles and all, but no one gives a shit about your own but you.


I know that no one else gives a shit ABOUT me,
but nobody told me they might give a shit ON ME!


Thursday, June 24, 2004

September 9/11

Today in Iraq 89 people are confirmed dead and over 300 are injured. Needless to say, Ryan and I already have our tickets to go see Fahrenheit 9/11 on opening day (Friday) at 7:30 PM. Anyone who would like to is more than welcome to join us here in Madison...it'll be playing at the Hollywood Cinema in Appleton, too, and that's the closest it's going to be to the Fox Cities.


Yes kids, being president is just this easy.

P.S. For those of you who haven't already gone to look at the Gadjits page, you should try...or else, save yourself some trouble and go to the link for Architechts in my music section. What a surprise!

Monday, June 14, 2004

Damn Punk Rock Music.



That'll learn you hooligans with your punk rock music and your Pac-Man video games! You punk rock kids with your drums and your electric gee-tars better go read some Chick Tracts or I swear you are ALL going to hell.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Spam is so much fun!

Maybe you all don't think that spam mail is as funny as I do, but it really is hilarious. Every day I get about 50 or so spam emails in my bulk email box. Now, normally I don't even look in the mailbox at all before I empty its contents, but on particularly boring days like today I take a gander at the titles. I will share with you some of my favorites from today.

From: Sticky Girls
Subject: Sprayed and Sticky
(Nothing sexier than a girl with lint stuck to her.)

From: Rear End Fixation
Subject: Sexually Explicit Ass Poundings
(Phew! Thank God that those ass poundings are sexually explicit. I wouldn't want that OTHER kind...)

From: Yellow Liquid
Subject: Girls Soaked and Dripping
(How kind of the yellow liquid to email me personally and show me the quality of its work!)

From: Vaughn
Subject: An Extra Leg Never Hurt Anyone
(Unless that leg is kicking you square in the ass...wait, extra leg? They don't mean...OH!!!)

Those lovely spams made my day and I hope they'll make yours too.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Yep.

Hooray for me! This page belonging to Century 21 is no longer classified per Dane County policy as Hate Speech!!!

Unfortunately, it is now classified as "Adult Sexual Content" per Dane County policy and is once again blocked.

They really need to look at the sites that are being blocked rather just making assumptions about their content. I guess realtors are not only speakers of hate, but they are also porn stars. Hooray.

Friday, June 04, 2004

Fun times

I've added quite a few new links in the reformatted links section. In particular, you really should check out the website for the Eternal Life Device. I guarantee you won't be quite sure what to make of it. Strangest part? It was one of the "suggested sites" on Yahoo when I did a search...you know, the sites that companies pay to have listed in the special box on top? Yeah...you figure it out!

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Where do you sit?

Just for kicks, you all should take the test that is located on the right side of my page on the Links section called the Political Compass. It shows you where you sit on the new political spectrum. I sit at -5 towards the Liberal Side and -.97 towards the Libertarian side. Take it and tell me where you sit and what political figure it says you're most like. I'm most like Ghandi and the Dali Lhama. (sp?)